STWT- Honesty is the Best Policy

“You can be anything you want to be”
My mother told me that every night as she tucked me into bed. I never really understood the depth of what that meant but I never questioned it, I just lived by that quote.

Every tough decision I ever made was made with that quote at the back of my mind. I became one of the leading personalities in Public relations in the country, with that quote at the back of my mind.

But I didn’t reach where I am with a clean sheet, it always involved a little white lie…

“You can be whatever you want to be”

To others, it may seem like a clear straightforward saying, but to me, it has always been ambiguous. “How do I make that happen?”, I always asked myself. There was no clear answer.

Whenever a situation came about where I had to make a rough decision, it crossed my mind and I always chose the easy way out. I lie.

Telling a lie is much easier than telling the truth. With telling the truth, you are forced into a reality that you may or may not have control over, but I do not have the time to ponder on that. With telling a lie, you control your reality. It’s a simple way out. A little white lie.

I don’t even like to call it “a lie” it’s simply just “tweaking the truth.”

With telling a lie, you can make a situation however you want it to be. You have the power. You are in control. You do not make it far by simply telling the truth all the time. That’s boring.

You can only live life well by tweaking certain truths.

Is that so, though?

I told a lie today.

But today, that lie did not work in my favour.

That lie cost me the life of my dearest daughter.

I’ve lived my life on lies, and it has given me my luxurious life, but today, that lie took a life.

It was just a little white lie. It could’ve been easily avoided.

But it’s not that easy for me anymore. 30 years of my life built on lies and I don’t think I remember how to tell the truth anymore.

The truth has become something so vague. I don’t know what it is anymore.

“Am I too deep into this life of white lies?” I asked myself as I stared at the picture frame which held the beautiful picture of my now deceased daughter.

“If I learn to tell the truth now, will it bring you back to me?”

How do I do that? How do I tell the truth now?

I dropped the now empty bottle of red wine on the bedside table and plopped myself on my cold and lonely king-sized bed.

As I was drifting off into a much-needed sleep, I heard a voice that I hadn’t heard in years. It was the sound of my mother’s voice.

We were back at my childhood home and she was tucking me into bed.

She mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. Her lips moved but clear words didn’t come out.

“Mum, what are you saying?”

“You’re older now, and you still can’t hear me?”

I smiled, even with my eyes closed.

Suddenly, she has a frown on her face.

“You never listened to this part when you were younger. Will you listen now?”

I nodded slightly.

She came close to my ear and whispered gently, “You can be anything you want to be…”

I opened my eyes abruptly, and I realised that there was nobody there. I was alone.

As I sat up on the bed, her last words lingered in the ears, words that i seemed to have always ignored since I was little,

“…but always remember, honesty is the best policy”

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